What Was New?
The baby was new, the dogs had anal gland problems, we had a home and I was fat and happy. The boy was changing everyday and brought new challenges. We were adjusting to parental life with the help of family, good books and Vicodin.
What's New Now?
Gwen still works from home and continues to get recognition for her outstanding work ethic. She does yoga and continues to participate in her investment club and spends a lot of time raising the boy. Our second child is in the oven (not really an oven, unless an oven is a place the owner puts Corn nuts, sugar cookies, Snickers, pickles and gravy) and we are excited because it’s going to be a girl—we hope. Gwen is doing well with this pregnancy and the baby is due in late May. She isn’t very sick these days and she’s eating far less cake, Twinkies and Crisco Pops than she did with Lil’ O, so she’s happier with her weight. She looks as beautiful as ever and I hope she doesn’t realize that she’s out of my league. Gwen is an amazing person and I am just lucky to have the front row seat in her vaudeville1 act she calls life. She’s like Jim Carrey and Meg Ryan blended together only without the male parts and the successful acting career. My point is, Gwen is sorta like one of the captains on the grade school soccer field and I’m the worst player in the back of the group just hopin’ to get picked on her team—She called my name first!
Odin is still alive and mostly unharmed. I tend to knock him down on accident or cause bruises—I really thought it would be Gwen that hurt him more—but it’s me. He’s 17 months old and gets funnier everyday. He can throw a football and basketball and say ‘ball’, ‘moo’, and something else that could be used to express extreme happiness, bathroom satisfaction, or a tribal war cry of some kind. He chases the puppies around and started the temper tantrum thing but loves to give kisses. He’s a wonderful boy and fun to be around. Gwen is absolutely fabulous with the boy—She is so supportive of him and excited when he does the simplest things. I watch and listen to her read to him and wonder which one of them is cuter. The funny part is that she doesn’t read the words in the books; she makes up her own story based on the pictures. He loves it and this was cute for a while, but now when I read the same books to him he just gets confused, drools and craps himself. That reminds me, did you know raisins were not digestible but the felt from a highlighter pen is? Man, some of these diaper toys he’s making are worthy of submission on the Internet-- have you seen www.ratemypoo.com? Odin is big, strong, healthy, cute, funny and maybe smart (we’re still waiting for some proof on that last item, other than the fact that he doesn’t stab himself when using a fork and knows that the ground hurts and pillows don’t, we really don’t know).
We sold our house in Renton and moved into an apartment in Gig Harbor while our house is being built out here. This apartment is great! It’s like a college dorm here only there is no beer, it’s a little noisier and no women in their panties running down the hall. The pitter-patter of cement feet from the floor above, the slamming of cupboards and the drug deals in the parking lot bring the college life to our front door—it’s breathtaking. It’s taking longer than expected to get started on the house but we should/might be moved in this spring. I’m having fun riding my motorcycle and relaxing with Odin and Gwen while we anticipate our new home. I hurt my back pretty bad that I like to blame on “trying to do too much during our move” when the reality is I’m older, slower, weaker, fatter and apparently have the bone structure of a Nerf football—but I’ve got my health! I still work for Cisco Systems downtown Seattle, and yes, I drive to work every day—I’m not that bright. The dogs are doing well and we still love them and they help the boy grow up strong, confident, resilient and smelly (all of you who said that “once you have a child the dogs will become less loved” simply don’t have a fondness for cleaning butts, vacuuming hair clumps and picking turds out of your neighbors flowers pots). Gilligan and Skipper are very much a part of this family and make us happy.
<<< Dim the lights. Sentimental music starts. Fade in single spotlight on Brad for his soliloquy. >>>
I tried my hardest not to mention 911 or the war in this Christmas letter because this is a time for us to share what has happened to us over the last year. But that is exactly why I should mention it because (without getting sappy or copying what you’ve heard in the media so many times) it did affect us. It made us realize how quickly our lives can be turned around without your control. So I just want to mention that as you read this to yourself or family, think of the people around you, be thankful they are there. There are a lot of people without others this Christmas.
<<< Fade spotlight to black. Fade music. Raise house lights. >>>
So I got a little sappy---I figure I made a few poo jokes, but you can only mention poo so many times before people start getting suspicious, so I had to shift gears. Back to me! I feel very lucky everyday for the life I have and I’m thankful to be able to poke fun at my family and current living arrangements. Gwen and I sit on our couch with the boy in his high-chair, the daughter to-be in Gwen’s belly and our puppies sitting at the door with bloated bladders and we realize that this is what it’s all about. We hope you find in your lives what we find everyday—laughter (even if it’s poo)
We wish you all a happy holiday season and the Raiders are going to win the Super Bowl this year.
1. vaude·ville (vôd
v
l
, v
d-, vôd
-)
n.
vl, vd-, vôd-)n.
- Stage entertainment offering a variety of short acts such as slapstick turns, song-and-dance routines, and juggling performances.
- A theatrical performance of this kind; a variety show.
- A light comic play that often includes songs, pantomime, and dances.
- A popular, often satirical song.