Xmas 2021

 

Merry Christmas Cave People 2021

From Brad, Gwen, Odin, Cyrus, and Drake Myers (plus a dog and bearded dragon thing)

Boy, sure used to be simpler times before COVID and the derision we’ve all sustained from the political landscape over the years. The holidays tend to make me reflect on the basic things I want in my life like peace, comfort, and happiness. It’s the simple things that bring so much joy – If we were all cave people we’d be looking for heat, shelter, safety, and ultimately comfort which could lead to happiness.

I think cave people had more downtime than we do now and most assuredly used it more wisely. They spent their time drawing on cave walls, picking things off of each other, and staring at each other’s exposed body parts. Cave people danced.  We need to go back to cave days. We need to get back to the basics. Imagine a time when fire was the third most important thing after water and food. Imagine joy just bringing fire or food to your people. What would we care about back then? … Maybe we can step back a bit and take some of their virtues (not like the Flintstones, they were riddled with technology we’d never get away with today– all animals were domesticated and trained, like the Brontosaurus excavator! It never breaks down, you just feed it and when it dies you burn it for fuel. Good times). No, not the Flintstones, even further back when basics were necessary for survival, when gathering was paramount to living. When togetherness was life. … … Wish we were cave people.

We would send Odin out to pull those swimming things out of the pond and bring them back to the cave because he loves doing that. Cyrus might cook them, but then venture off to his part of the cave only to be seen again at the next feeding. Drake would draw on the cave walls and make us laugh. I suppose the boys and Gwen would go gather berries and honey and bring it back and make a minimalistic charcuterie board. I’d spend my days digging new poop holes… This would be our tale:

It’s been 21 turns around Sun since Odin dropped on floor of cave from Gwen’s butt. He good at fixing and will take trip to far away Tacoma cave to learn about ‘heavy machinery mechanic’ – I not know what that is, it’s like he’s speaking English when he talks about it (get it? Did cave people speak English, I dunno). He’s still seeing one he calls Erin from yet another cave across town but she seems to spend time in our cave and he in her cave. <blink – blink> She real nice cave person and is in school cave over mountain. He right now work at local Costco cave where he is a gatherer of carts but boo-boo’d his knee and now not worky until better. He do big things one day.

Cyrus is a couple Sun trips less than Odin but also finding his way out of cave. He work as night clerk at Metropolitan Market cave which is what neighbor cave people say is upper end grocery store. So why we gather berries and honey and eat whatever dies in our cave? I must finish poop hole and find out. This next part can be no true but Cyrus told us he went up in sky like bird and then came down from sky to ground like feather with soft landing! Must not serve those fungus we find in rotten trees. Boy, next part even more no true as he say he going to new cave to study elec … hmm, electric city – yes, he wanna study electric city and provide light like Sun to homes and “power” to other caves. Whaaaat? UGhhhh. I not know what these cave babies say or do! He another young cave baby who will do big things (I know, right? Like fly like bird and land like feather not enough?!). I’m glad to be a part of his cave life.

Drake came later than other two cave dwellers but we love him anyway. He funny, he make stomach roll as I spit and make sound with mouth like, ‘ha-ha-ha’. He talking about driving soon and I laugh and tell him, ‘go talk Cyrus- he fly like bird – that’s better.” Then my stomach roll again and I make sound and spit. But Drake serious! He drive next year. He also have direction outside of cave: he want sell cave to other cave people. He say he go talk neighbor and make deal with a different cave neighbor and they move into each other cave or other cave while they pay Drake. He say he can make up to 3 pigs for each cave sale. Me not know why digging poop hole like his old man not good enough for family, but they have high hopes. Drake plays in same pond Odin finds swimming food. He toss heavy rock at one end while neighbor cave kids try to stop … … (water polo, Drake plays water polo like his brother before him. You try writing this garbage. You think writing for real is difficult? Try writing like a cave man who’s never had words. Not that I can write regularly, but this is way more difficult. I can’t believe I’m going to say this but I need to drink more when I write). Drake is cave person everyone likes and will do big things in cave-estate. His quick wit and humor make cave life better and he have good habits.

Gwen old, but good. She provide many berry and honey and do all cooking and clean of cave. She take care of all cave babies, including this one. She look good on rock, naked, across fire pit where squirrel and swimming food cook to death. Me feel warm thinking about her. She still do same as last Sun trip where she help people pay when other cave people hurt foot or have thing on bum torn off. Gwen always cheery and in any cave make it less dark even without fire. Not know why looking at her face make my face turn up but me never want it to change. Gwen make life better.

Me long in tooth like tiger but happy like those things making ‘ha-ha-ha’ sounds in field while they rip apart bigger thing. Digging poop holes ok but real ha-ha-ha come from cave people in my cave. Nothing more better than my cave people and other cave people around fire and saying many words about cave life. Some story sad like when cave person eaten by monster but other story happy like killing monster and finding friend again inside monster. Not know word for this but feel extra warm when with cave people and ha-ha-ha with them. Thing in chest full.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from our Cave to Yours

ha-ha-ha

 

Gwen and Brad’s 25^th anniversary in Puerto Vallarta.

Still at Cisco, Gwen still medical billing

Odin (21) at Costco, getting into mechanic school early next year

Cyrus (19) looking at electrician apprenticeship in the coming year

Drake (15) will start driving in March 2022, sophomore at Gig Harbor High

(That list would have been easier for both of us to read and write, sorry about that. But look at it this way; I wasted more time than you did)